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Disappearing Boy

My favourite part...

"When I walk in crowded rooms
I feel as if it is my doom
I know that I don't belong"

Isolation, it's the first word that popped into my head. Listening to this song and what I want to say about it, is summed up by that word perfectly for me.

There's no one real stand-out moment that I could put this song to in my life, more a collection of times and moments where something just doesn't feel quite right.

I'd put most of these feelings to a time when I was between the ages of 20 and 22. It was then I realised I needed to quit smoking dope because the bad times outweighed the good. It was Uni days and the drug took total control of me and started messing with my head.

Every so often, whether it be hanging out with mates or being in a public environment, I've had times where I've felt awkward and akin to a social destitute. At those moments I've always just wanted to escape the situation as soon as possible. I'd compare it to being ghost-like, where you're aware of everything but don't feel as if you're living the moment or anyone notices you.

I know, I know. That was all incredibly deep but Disappearing Boy reminds me of the bad times drugs can bring.

That quite fittingly leads me into the next song...

by Carl Anastasi
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August 2020
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