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This evening, Billie Joe will be playing the Acoustic-4-A-Cure concert to benifit the pediatric cancer treatment program at UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital.

Billie Joe will be joined by Sammy Hagar, James Hetfield, Pat Monahan, and Joe Satriani, to name a few, for an acoustic concert that will surely be filled with rare duets and performances.

In preparation for the event, the staff at San Francisco Weekly couldn't help but wonder how all those tremendous egos will get along backstage at the concert. So they mocked up a would-be backstage conversation between all the performing artists. It's pretty damn funny.

In the short excerpt below. Sammy Hagar, James Hetfield, and Billie Joe are having a conversation surrounding Green Day's music.

"Hagar: We came up with Chickenfoot to remind ourselves not to write songs that only take three fingers to play on guitar, like all Billie's do.

Hetfield: Heh. Hell, you don't even need three fingers to play a Green Day song. Two will do just fine.

Armstrong: My two fingers have written more hits in the last decade than your 10 ever have, James.

Hetfield: Pop hits, maybe. But do you really think people will still be listening to that little masturbation song in 100 years? I mean, "Wake Me Up When October Ends"? Our music has staying power, man. We have armies of fans who will travel to fucking Antarctica to see us. And they pay for our music, too! We don't need the radio.

Armstrong: And I bet you spent all the money on the lawyers forcing the fans to pay. But if you wanna talk staying power, American Idiot played on Broadway 422 times. And it wasn't just a bunch of sexually frustrated Danish dudes in the audience."

Throughout the whole (mocked) conversation, the artists go back and forth, assessing each other's careers and embarrassing moments (e.g. Billie Joe's rehab stint). To read the full conversation, which I highly recommend if you're familiar with these artists' careers, visit SF Weekly's website here.
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